Breakups happen, it’s an unfortunate fact of life. Maybe you’re going through one now, or maybe someone you love is. The fact of the matter is, is that whether you were the one broken up with or the one doing the breaking, it can be really difficult either way. Here are ten ways to help you through a rough breakup.
1. Do Things You Love
Now is the time to spoil yourself a little bit. Watch your favorite shows, play your favorite games, grab some of your favorite snacks and relax with a book you’ve been meaning to check out. Anything that makes you happy, even if it feels like it can’t possibly at this moment. Remind yourself of all the great things that exist even outside of a relationship.
2. Don’t Contact Your Ex
While this can be tricky if you’re working out living situations, do your best to limit or completely halt any contact with your new ex for at least a few weeks. You both need time alone to process your feelings, and the heightened emotional state directly after a breakup is not the time to deal with each other.
3. Stick to a Routine
Since some days are going to feel worse than others, make a simple routine for your day that you can reliably stick to. The steps can be as small as they need to be, but it will help you get into the groove of continuing onwards even when you feel drained. Even if it feels like you’re running on autopilot for a while, continuing to march forward is better than spiraling backward.
4. Help Others
Participating in charitable activities can be a great boost to one’s self-worth and a sense of purpose. Consider volunteering somewhere nearby, or using a talent you know you have to inspire or help out others. Not only will their gratitude make you feel better, but it will also help you feel more accomplished.
5. Express Your Emotions
Bottling up feelings never helps. As you go through this process, remember to take the time to express and process your emotions. Everyone is different, but find channels that feel right to you. Writing, drawing, coloring, dancing, crafting, all are ways to help you work through a difficult time.
6. Get Out
It can be tempting to hole up inside and never leave your home again, especially when you’re feeling cruddy. Forcing yourself to leave the house is important to signal to yourself that life goes on. Whether you’re running to the grocery store, taking the dog for a walk, or going to see a movie – breaking out of your bubble will help you continue to move on.
This is not the time to isolate yourself. Contact friends and family you know you can lean on, and make an effort to talk to them, have them come over to visit, or even meet them out somewhere casual and fun. If no one’s nearby and you’re still feeling disconnected, consider joining online communities that share interests of yours or are going through a similar circumstance.
8. Be Realistic About the Relationship
It’s easy to look back on a relationship with rose-colored glasses, but there’s always a reason behind a break-up. Chances are there are things you’ll be tempted to overlook in favor of idolizing all the good instead. Try to look at things realistically, as they truly were.
9. Love Yourself
A lot of people fall into a cycle of beating themselves up after a relationship, regardless of whether they were broken up with or instigated the break up themselves. Whether you’re feeling guilty for hurting someone, you care about, or you’re feeling inadequate due to being dumped, start to practice accepting and loving yourself. Focus on and jot down all the best qualities of yourself that you like, highlight the parts of yourself that you know are really great and that other people love, too.
10. Be Patient With Yourself
Healing takes time, and heartbreak is no exception. In fact, as aggravating as it can be to hear at the time, there’s often not much more that can fix a broken heart than the passing of time itself. Be patient with yourself and your emotions right now. Realize that you’re going to be a bit more fragile and sensitive and that you’re going through a lot. Time will work its magic if you just hang in there.