Long term romantic relationships can sometimes become stagnant. People become too comfortable with each other, life becomes a routine and nothing seems to evolve anymore. Without growth, the spark fades away and small things can start turning into arguments and resentments.

Don’t give up! Too many people nowadays feel that everyone is simply replaceable. If a partner isn’t just right, that partner is dumped and replaced with a new one, and so the cycle of unhappiness continues. Everyone needs some inner repair, so don’t abandon someone, unless you feel that the relationship has some serious negative effects on you. If you feel you have a shot at love and happiness, don’t be afraid to put in some work. Here are a few tips on how to save or improve a relationship.

1. Communication

So many ignore this aspect or take it for granted. The key to a healthy relationship is communication. When something is troubling you, you need to be able to take your partner and sit down for a civilized, adult conversation. Most people do it the wrong way. They lock themselves in and at some point burst into dumping all their irritations at once. That is childish and certainly unproductive.

The right way is to ask your partner a question, listen, then offer your point of view. Set aside time to chat when you aren’t stressed, and never talk about serious problems when you feel emotional. When you find yourself arguing, take a step back, calm down and then talk.

2. Try something new

The most common thing that leads to resentment and bitterness in a relationship is boredom. People start feeling unhappy when they are no longer experiencing anything new in life. So follow the first advice and sit down to talk about what new thing you could experience together. Share something that you always wanted to experience. Excitement gives the brain that much-needed dopamine, almost as if it reignites that spark you used to feel. Make new plans, follow them through and reconnect.

3. Invest time in your partner’s needs

Humans tend to sometimes be a bit selfish. Investing time and effort only in what interests you, while ignoring your partner’s interests can lead to an unhappy relationship. If you notice this happening, it’s time to be a selfless person and focus on your partner’s needs. Listen to his/her music even if you don’t like it. Start showing an active interest in the other person’s hobbies. Being there for someone else can be powerful and can reignite the fading passion.

4. Take action

Words are just words, they are meaningless even if you have good intentions. Discussing boundaries or talking about vacation plans is good, but it’s meaningless if you don’t follow through. You need to back up your words and take action. If the love for your partner is genuine and you want to preserve the relationship, you need to put in the extra time to work hard. Making a promise brings momentary joy, but actually putting it into action creates a lifetime worth of joy.