In any relationship, conflict is inevitable and romantic relationships are no exception. Even then, arguing by itself is not what predicts whether couples separate, but how they handle disagreements whenever they arise. If you resort to name-calling or show contempt for your spouse, it may not be the best thing for your marriage. So, those couples who stay together, each partner takes responsibility for their role in any argument. Also, they tend to show affection during fights.
With this in mind, how do you argue and come out stronger as a couple? Let’s look at 3 ways you can fight yet show affection to your partner.
1. Use Humor to Lighten The Mood
Use of humor helps temper arguments and increases the likelihood of a couple finding mutual understanding. Humor makes it easy for people to find common ground. And although this may sound absurd, it works. Spouses that end up staying married are those that can make jokes even while they argue. Though you don’t support the main point made in the argument, it is possible that you will reach a consensus on some views of it.
2. Understand Your Partner’s Communication Style
Everyone has their own style of communicating. There are those who prefer to work everything out after an argument. While others would rather take their time to reflect and process the issue. And because most times the communication styles are mismatched, it can lead to one partner pressuring the other while the other stonewalls.
This might make it seem like each partner cares only about their own feelings over the others. But in essence, it’s just a personality difference. However, a good compromise in such a situation is for the partner who needs space to express how they feel and ask that they revisit the issue after a little while. This works in favor of both partners as one partner will back off to allow for the other to process the issue. This also helps partners come to a resolution that they wouldn’t have been able to if they had rushed to resolve the argument and ignore their personality differences.
3. Listen Closely
How well do you listen to your partner? Think back on the arguments you last had with your spouse. It’s very likely that you can trace most of the arguments back to several core misunderstandings. And since your fights will be about the same things over and over again, you might find that you tune out in such moments. That’s because you think you already know what your spouse will say next — and it could very well be so. However, it’s also possible that you’ll miss those instances when your partner has some new insights. And when it happens your only concern is waiting to jump in and make your point. In so doing, you won’t notice when you’re not actually hearing your partner.
It may be time to start listening closely to your partner. New studies have shown that once people talk to a good listener, they tend to feel less anxious and become more self-aware — and this makes them more open to weighing both sides of the argument. So, why not listen next time you are fighting with your partner? Or anyone else for that matter. This might prove to be a turning point in your relationship.
In closing, although these three tactics can be powerful, they may not necessarily eliminate every disagreement. But they will get you started in the right direction. It’s important to realize that an argument involves two parties and as long as both are willing to take responsibility for their actions, a solution may actually be easy to reach.