Are you considering getting a divorce, but are wondering whether that’s the right decision for you? It’s totally okay to have some doubts, but at times it’s necessary that you take a step back to evaluate the situation closely.
Rather than live with your partner yet the resentment keeps growing, why not address the situation while it’s still manageable and fix it — with a divorce.
That said, how can you tell whether to cut your losses or stay in your marriage? Well, to help you make that decision, here are 8 signs showing that divorce is best for you and your partner.
1. Your partner’s touch makes you uneasy
If your partner’s touch makes you flinch, it could mean trouble. In a healthy, loving relationship, you should long for a cuddle, a kiss, and all those wonderful things that the relationship offers. If that’s not the case, then you need to figure out why you suddenly are repulsed. However, this is not reason enough for a divorce, but it sure does point out to some real trouble in your marriage.
2. You got hitched to fix problems
Problems that are already in your relationship won’t be fixed by having kids. And getting married will certainly not fix those underlying relationship problems either. Issues, like being unhappy or feeling lonely, will not be fixed by getting married. If you went into a marriage because you thought the personal and relationship issues will be solved, then sooner or later you’ll realize it doesn’t.
3. Resolving The Issue Won’t Make You Stay
What needs to be resolved for you to want to stay in that relationship? If it’s something that can be resolved easily, then you could fix it together. But if it cannot be fixed, it may be time to call it quits. And whatever you do, fight the urge to demand that your partner change, and avoid making any ultimatums. Because such behavior will definitely make your spouse become defensive and only give you the opposite result of what you are asking.
4. You harbor too much resentment
Resentment may basically continue to increase throughout the marriage. Especially when the cause is not addressed in good time. Keep in mind that a successful relationship does not have resentment, but the couple deals with the issue before it gets out of control. If either you or your partner is feeling resentful, address it or go for couple’s counseling.
5. Your dreams don’t include your spouse
If the thought of growing old with your spouse makes you flinch, it may be time to walk away. You could be imagining of a wonderful future, where you are all happy and successful. However, in all your dreams you don’t see where your significant other fits. If that’s the case, it’s time to end that relationship and move on.
6. You Know Why You Need a Divorce
Once you are clear about your reasoning, you will become more grounded in your decision. This will help ground your decision firmly in your desire for something different or more. And it will be less about the things that your partner did or didn’t do. If you are at such a point, then dealing with a divorce will be easier, and you can mourn the loss and move on.
7. You’ve Checked Out Emotionally
If you notice that things that once made your blood boil don’t affect you anymore, then at this point you might have checked out emotionally. When there’s no desire in you to fight for your marriage, then you’re in essence done. The relationship can still be salvaged but it’ll take both you and your spouse to make that marriage work. So you could consider going for counseling to figure out ways to make the necessary changes or be ready to jump ship.
8. Counseling Hasn’t Worked
If counseling sessions aren’t working for you, it may be best to have a divorce. For most people, therapy comes in last in their list of “treatments.” You might have taken this route before with your partner, and nothing changed. Or you still feel you are better off alone and your needs haven’t been fulfilled yet. Even with professional help you still aren’t getting these issues resolved, then a divorce maybe what you need.
It takes two to make a romantic relationship work. And before you jump ship, take time to figure out what you want in a relationship. But if your current relationship isn’t offering you what you desire and you’ve tried to make it work and still no sign of change is evident, then it may be best to divorce. Mourn for losing that relationship and move on.